Drowning with Demons
by igotsthesmarts
Summary: 4th story in "The Imperfection I Came to Be" series. Rebel's returned, but nothing's the same. Light threatens the saftey of her baby, will she be able to protect her family? Will the ties stay strong or break apart? Rebel must struggle with her personal demons while fighting off the physical ones. Who will win in this battle?
1. Chapter 1

**THIS IS THE FORTH STORY IN MY IMPERFECTION SERIES. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE OTHERS, GO READ THEM NOW!**

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The pain was excruciating. Blow after blow. It's never ending. I've tried keeping track of days. But they just get so disorienting. I don't know what time, day, month, year, it is. I've given up trying to keep track.

Sometimes I get shown flickers of my family. But they always end up hating me, leaving me. I'm sorry to say I've forgotten what my baby looks like. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. I don't know the name. I don't know how they are. I just know that I've forgotten. And that leaves me with a gaping hole in my chest.

That feeling alone is torture.

As for the physical torture, no human being could withstand it. Sometimes my skin will be peeled back and reapplied. Sometimes it's a game of who can take her eyes out and put them back. Some days it's who can show her the most of her past until she's shaking.

I've been through it all.

Light's a regular visitor. He never says much. Just smirks and inflicts whatever pain he wants me to feel. And whatever I go through, I can't cry.

They won't allow it.

On a few occasions, Light's brought a syringe with a green liquid and injected it in my system. He won't return for a while and during that time, I get an itch. A craving for more, it turns into a piercing, unbearable need for it. I'm not sure what it is. But I know it's addicting.

Light comes in angry today. I don't know why. He's got what he wants.

"It's almost time," he mutters under his breath.

I can't speak. I follow him with my eyes as he paces back and forth in front of me. Slightly he turns, with a sadistic expression. "You've only given me part of what I want," he hisses in my face. His breath is cold and makes me shiver.

Pulling at my arm, he stabs the green syringe into my wrist. It viciously burns unbelievably strong, and I tilt my head back with a grimace.

"I will get what I want," he seethes, before leaving me. I feel the continuous, cruel burn in my veins that intensifies with every shallow breath I take.

I close my eyes, willing myself not to feel anything else. I hope and pray and suddenly I don't.

The burning, the stabbing pains; everything just stops.

I crack open my eyes and see a flash of bright light. What's happening?

"It's over now," a thick voice mutters. I can't open my eyes all the way to see who it is.

"Alexandria," one hisses in an annoyed tone.

With every ounce of strength I can muster, I allow the light to flood my vision and the picture to come into focus.

The Counsel sits before me with looks of pure hatred. I muster a funny noise out of my throat and allow my head to roll to the side.

"You've disappointed and angered us! Why would you take your own life after we give you everything?!" Someone booms. His skin is weathered and sloppy, practically falling off his face.

"Frlembsh," I mumble.

Caspian's familiar face and watery hair leans over his desk with a raised eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Freaambed," I mumble again. "Framed."

"You were no such thing!" Another shouts.

"Wrath… inside me."

"She believed she had a sin?"

"Is she crazy?"

"Put her back for a few more years."

"Give her a moment!"

"She didn't have a sin."

All the voices rambled together and I hear the loud crack of a gavel on wood.

"Stop! Alexandria, at no point were you consumed by Wrath, or any sin for that matter."

I thought that's what Morpheus said. I was the one who had Wrath. That way I could… I can't remember.

"I dismiss this case. Take her back to town. Let her be," The gavel is smacked and my stomach drops as I feel like I'm falling.  
My back hits something hard and I let out a groan.

Opening my eyes I'm in front of Las Chalupas.

Leaning against the bricks of the building I stand up and wobble the next mile or so until I reach the house. Starring up at its gloriousness, a wave of relief settles in me and I bark up the driveway until I reach the front door.

I knock and ring the door bell repeatedly.

It swings open and my smile falters. Mello looks much older. Mature with a change of hair. It's much shorter, like matt's only it spikes up in the front.

"Rebel, is….are you really here?" he whispers.

I nod, tears filling my eyes and I charge him with the strongest hug I can give.

He pats my back gently and I frown as he pulls away.

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here! I'm back! I've been gone!"

"We know…" he says lowly.

"What's… what's wrong?"

He gives me a fake smile, "Nothing, come in."

He steps out of my path and I shrug off his awkwardness, and step into the familiar living room.

Matt peeks out of the back. "You're back!" he exclaims surprised, with much more energy than Mello.

Matt squeezes me in a quick hug and pulls away as I yelp from pain.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"It's fine," I say, waving my hand, "Where is everyone?"

They both go silent and look at the ground.

"Where's Near and L and everyone?" I ask.

"A lot's changed in five years, Rebel…" Matt says sorrowfully.

"Like…" I persist.

"For one, Stanley bought a house a ways down. I'll drive you there," Mello says, putting his arm over my shoulder and leading me out the door.

I watch as he and Matt exchange looks.

We pull up to a small house. It's pretty on the outside, surrounded by bright flowers and healthy looking grass.

"This is it. I've got to go, we'll catch up sometime," Mello says, pushing me out the door.

"You aren't coming with me?" I ask, with a hurt tone.

He shakes his head, "Sorry Rebel," he says, driving off.

Frowning, I make my way to the door. My heart beats faster with every step. This is it. My baby, my boyfriend. I can't wait.

Knocking lightly, I step back and hear shuffling in the house.

The door opens and Stanley stands there, shocked.

"Rebel? Are you really…"

"Yes!" I smile.

He rushes out the door and kisses me. The familiar taste of his lips gives my stomach butterflies.  
"It's been five years and you haven't changed a bit," I whisper.

His chest vibrates as he chuckles softly.

"Come in."

I follow him in and I take a look around. It's small and cozy. The far wall behind the couch is paneled with wood and the carpet is a shaggy blue color.

"Watch out for runaway toys. I've stepped on a lot," he says.

The house looks clean to me. He's done a nice job.

"Are you ready to meet your child?" He questions suddenly.

I freeze, heart beating rapidly. Am I? I've missed five years of this child's life and I don't know how they'll react. What they do. I have so much to learn!

Stiffly, I nod my head, and Stanley beckons me to follow him down a narrow hallway, last door on the left.

He opens the door softly and peeks his head in, before turning and stepping out of my way.

"Go on in."

Taking a deep breath, I open the door and see the lightly painted pink walls.

She's got long black curly hair with streaks of curly blonde. Her dress is dark blue and she's playing with her dolls on the floor.

"She looks just like you, it's unbelievable," Stanley says, leaning in the doorway.

An overwhelming feeling washes over me and I feel tears sting my eyes. "Can I touch her?"

"Of course! It's your daughter too," Stanley urges. Cautiously I kneel down in front of her, swiping hair out of her face. I can see now that her round face and nose resemble Stanley's.

"How old is she?" I ask.

"Five years old today."

I sniffle, a smile spreading across my face. She freezes as I embrace her in a hug, swaying her side to side.

"Stanley," I ask. What's her name?"

"Ophelia."

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_Guys! This is the forth story of my series! Tell me what you think, comment, review all that good stuff. Love you!_


	2. Chapter 2

I'm not sure how long I stay there, stroking Ophelia's hair. I feel a flutter in my chest whenever she looks at me. I've done something right for a change. I love her and I know nothing about her, but I love her.

Stanley watches us intently, before sighing, "Rebel, why don't you come out here so I can talk to you?"

Glancing over to Stanley, I nod, and stand up, leaving my daughter to play in peace. I follow Stanley into the living room. It's dimly lit, and smells like plastic and wood.

We both sit on the couch and I curl into his side. "I've miss you so much," I mutter. "You have no idea what it was like."

He tenses, and I pull away. "Something wrong?" I ask concernedly.

He shakes his head, "Rebel, you've missed a lot."

"Everyone keeps saying that, what exactly happened? Tell me from the beginning."

He runs his fingers through his shaggy brown hair, "When you left, everything was pretty chaotic. No charm appeared and that sent Morpheus into a huge fit. He just kept saying 'we had a deal!' and I was scared for our daughter. Beyond and I left and blinked back to Mello's house. My sister, was left with Morpheus. He killed her…"

He trails off and I urge him to continue, "What happed after that?"

"You have to understand, I just—" he cuts himself short yet again. What is so hard to say?

"Kaige was—"

"Kaige was what? Just spit it out, Stanley!"

He glares at me before softening his expression, "I'm sorry, it's a hard thing for me." I want to say it was a hard thing for me to be away from my family. It was a hard thing for me to be tortured for five years, so saying what I missed couldn't be any worse. Could it?

"Near and Kaige were fighting. Like fist fighting. Only Dreagon and I knew what was happening. Near took a knife from the kitchen and…stabbed Kaige in the chest."

"WHAT?!" I freak out, "Near would never do something like that, what—how—"

Stanley shakes his head, "You didn't let me finish. Near was the one consumed with Wrath, it wasn't you. The voices you heard, the ringing in your ears, was something else."

"But how did you know for sure he was the one consumed by sin? Yes he freaked out, but—" I'm not really sure what to say. But what?

"Because he was killed."

Tears start to sting my eyes, "I don't understand. Who would kill Near?!"

Stanley's gaze drops to the floor, and he fiddles with his hands in his lap. "Ophelia killed Near. She's an Angel of Death. She can kill anyone she wants. As a baby, she didn't do anything but now that she's older, she likes to sing or hum to kill someone…."

I'm speechless. My daughter killed my brother. I wipe my eyes, "Has she killed others? Can she kill us?"

"No, she can't kill us because we're her parents. Anyone of blood to us, she can't kill. But she's dangerous to humans, she's still too young to understand when and when not to kill someone. So I had to move, away from Mello and Matt. I couldn't risk them dying. And Kaige… do you know what happens when a Fallen Angel is killed by a sin?"

I shake my head, "What happens?"

"They become demonic, Rebel. Kaige became a demon and was so ashamed, she left to live in the Underworld. Dreagon's disappeared since that day, nobody's seen him. L became depressed and left to live with Beyond and Rowan and Dark. Ophelia and I live here away from everyone. I haven't spoken to Matt or Mello since then either…"

"What happened with Morpheus?" I ask, shocked.

"I gave him Wrath, and he took the necklace and your contract and sealed them. He hasn't bothered us since."

This is unbelievable. "So everyone's gone? Just like that?"

Stanley nods, "I'm afraid so. But you're back, and maybe we can start to get back in touch with Matt and Mello?"

I nod, "Yeah, maybe."

"I know it's a lot to take in, but just be happy that you're here and you have a wonderful daughter," Stanley says, trying to cheer me up.

"A daughter I know nothing about. She's not going to warm up to me, Stanley. I've been gone for five years of her life. God knows she'll probably resent me for eternity!"

"Don't you think you're being dramatic?" he asks.

"No! I'm not, I've just lost _everyone, _I have a daughter who I don't know the first thing about, and I have no idea what to do!" I panic.

"Calm down," Stanley soothes, rubbing circles on my back. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know about her."

"I want to know everything!"

"Ok, well let's start with the basics," he says, getting up and leaving the room. He returns with _The Catcher in the Rye. _

"This is her favorite book. She's very intelligent and can comprehend a lot more than you think. Her favorite colors are pink and blue. Her favorite food is oranges. She likes to play with her toys a lot. She likes all kinds of music. She hates taking baths, and she hates wearing dresses, so I have to force her into them. She loves coloring, and watching Dance Moms on TV. She has one special stuffed animal that she takes with her everywhere, and his name is Croaks. She's quiet most of the time, and her favorite movie is The Shining."

"You let her watch The Shining?!" I ask in disbelief.

"I thought she'd hate it and never ask to watch a scary movie again, but no, it's become a favorite."

"That's horrible," I say shaking my head.

"That's out daughter."

"That's right."

We sit in silence for a while until a quiet shuffling is heard down the hall.

"Ophie, we can hear you, come on in," Stanley calls.

I see her tiny form peek around the corner with those huge eyes. She's holding something in her hands, clutching it tightly to her chest.

I smile widely at her and she cowers back a few steps.

"Come here," Stanley says, opening his arms. She runs and jumps onto his lap. I frown, she's so comfortable with him.

"Hi Ophelia," I greet warmly. "What's that in your hands?" She stares right through me and I get a little unnerved.

"This is her frog, Croaks," Stanley clarifies. I look at it, with its faded color and its matted fur. The poor thing's been through hell. It's stretched out with a long neck that seems as if it's been sewed back on a few times. It doesn't look like a frog; just a rag with eyes. It looks like it croaked a while back.

"It doesn't…" I start before Stanley cuts me off.

"It's a frog," he states in a tone that says _don't argue. _Shrinking back in my seat, I watch as she plays with Stanley's hands and shakes her head as he whispers in her ear.

Why can't my relationship with her be like that? But I need to clear that thought from my head. Stanley's the only one she knows. I can't win her over in a day, no matter how much I'd like to.

"It's getting late, time for bed," Stanley says. Ophelia pouts cutely and I laugh. "Is it ok if I tuck you in, honey?" I ask.

She looks at me before sliding off Stanley's lap and heading back down the hall. Glancing at Stanley, he points to the direction she went, "You know where her room is."

Standing up, I head to the back to see she's already in her pajamas. They're Hello Kitty and they look adorable on her.

I watch as she climbs into her bed and pulls at the dark blue covers. I sit on the edge of her bed and look around the room. It's pretty bare. Just pink walls and lots of toys.

"I heard you like _The Cather in the Rye?" _I mention, "Would you mind if I read it to you?"

She stares at me for a moment, and I wonder if I'll ever get an answer out of her. Put she soon reaches under her pillow and pulls out a worn, paperback copy, and hands it to me.

I take it gently, running my fingers over the smooth pages.

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them. They're quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They're nice and all - I'm not saying that - but they're also touchy as hell. Besides, I'm not going to tell you my whole god dam autobiography or anything. I'll just tell you about this madman stuff that happened to me last Christmas just before I got pretty run-down and had to come out and take it easy. I mean that's all I told D.B. about, and he's my brother and all. He's in Hollywood. That isn't too far from this crumby place, and he comes over and visits me practically every week end. He's going to drive me home when I go home next month maybe. He just got a Jaguar. One of those little English jobs that can do around two hundred miles an hour. It cost him damn near four thousand bucks. He's got a lot of dough, now. He didn't use to. He used to be just a regular writer, when he was home. He wrote this terrific book of short stories, The Secret Goldfish, in case you never heard of him. The best one in it was «'The Secret Goldfish.' It was about this little kid that wouldn't let anybody look at his goldfish because he'd bought it with his own money. It killed me. Now he's out in Hollywood, D.B., being a prostitute. If there's one thing I hate, it's the movies. Don't even mention them to me."

I continue to read the first chapter, until I hear soft breathing. Ophelia snuggles with her "frog" and snoozes gently on her pillow. Placing the book on her nightstand, I drape the blankets over her and kiss her forehead.

"I love you," I whisper, even though she can't hear me.

She's far off in her dreamland.

But I say I love you anyways.

Because I know if it were me, I'd want someone to do the same thing.

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_Hey guys, sorry for the late update. I've started classes and they keep me busy. Tell me what you think. Love reading comments. Love you guys!_


	3. Chapter 3

It surprises me to wake up to an empty bed. Groggily rolling out of the covers, I make my way to the kitchen where Stanley is busily cooking breakfast.

He notices my confusion and laughs "don't look so surprised. I can cook too, you know."

"Like, edible food?" I ask cautiously.

He nods and gives me a fork full of eggs. Opening my mouth, the tender egg fills my taste buds and I smile. "It's good."

"Well I'd hope so. Ophelia and I have been eating my cooking for—"

He doesn't finish is sentence; instead he trails off, and starts flipping sausage in the pan.

"Since I was gone. Five years," I say depressingly.

"Daddy?" a quiet voice asks from the hall.

Ophelia is standing in her Hello Kitty pajamas, rubbing her eyes and clutching her "frog" to her side.

"Morning baby, you hungry? Daddy made breakfast," Stanley says placing a plate on the table. He reaches down and picks her up spinning her once before placing a kiss on her cheek, and setting her down at the table.

She eyes me carefully, and picks up her fork, shoveling a piece of toast in her mouth.

I smile at her, "Morning Ophelia."

She looks down at her plate before hopping out of her seat and running back to her room, shutting the door.

Stanley raises an eyebrow but doesn't go after her.

"Was it something I said?" I ask worriedly. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her.

"Of course not, Rebel. She's just trying to get used to you. It'll take time. All you did was say good morning. It's not a crime to care about your daughter."

I look back at her unfinished plate and sigh. What if this was a mistake? Stanley's been nice and comforting, but it's not the same way it was before. Nothing is to be honest. Everyone's gone. Kaige and I were getting to be good friends. And it isn't like Dreagon to run off….

I don't know what to think about Near. Ophelia didn't mean to kill him. Did she? Does she think we're mad at her for killing him? We couldn't have possibly let Near stay consumed by Wrath. It was inevitable.

I can understand why Matt and Mello have been so cold. I don't think that anything will ever be the same. If I left Stanley, would it be beneficial? I hate to think that way. I do love Stanley, just not in the same way, anymore.

Coming home was all I wanted, so why do I feel so regretful? Because it didn't turn out right? I have a daughter, shouldn't that make me the happiest person in the world? Shouldn't I be overwhelmed with this joy, and sing and be perfectly content?

Shouldn't my life end like a Disney movie? Where's my happily ever after?

Where's my family?

Stanley sets a plate down in front of me and moves Ophelia's plate over to make room for his own. "So I thought about what you said, and I think that I'll go give Matt and Mello a visit today."

"That's nice," I say, picking at my eggs.

Stanley watches me and sighs, "I thought you and Ophelia could use the time to yourselves. Mother daughter bonding and all that. I need a well deserved guys night out."

Peeking up at him, I see him smile, "What do you say?"

"I say yes," I reply, a smile pulling at the corner of my mouth.

"Great," Stanley replies. "Then you'll get to give her a bath!"

I laugh, "I'm sure it's not that bad," I say rolling my eyes.

"Whatever you say," Stanley replies taking a bite of sausage.

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"Whatever you say," I sneer, relaying Stanley's words in my head. So far I've gotten about a gallon of bath water dumped on me, and Ophelia's managed to stay completely dry, running naked around the house.

"Dammit!" I curse, as I step on a rubber duck, causing it to squeak loudly and its eyes to bulge.

"You said a bad word!" Ophelia sings, running off down the hall. I chase after her, picking up speed before I can grab her from behind.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" She screams, hitting and kicking me hard.

"Yes, yes, yes, Ophelia, now stop it."

She kicks me one time hard in the gut, causing me to drop her. She gets off the ground and hightails it to her bedroom. Ha! I can corner her there!

Racing down the hall I practically fly into her room and slam the door behind me. She's hiding under her covers. Pulling back the midnight blue bedspread, I see her cover her face with her hands like I can't see her. It's kind of adorable, actually.

"I can see you, come and take a bath before the water gets cold."

She jets out her lip so far she could trip on it, and shakes her head.

Groaning in annoyance, I glance around the room, until my eyes run across something on the floor.

Picking up the "frog" I smirk. "Lose something?"

Her eyes widen and I pull it away as she reaches for him.

Heading off to the bathroom, Ophelia follows me like a puppy, jumping up trying to reach her toy.

She freezes when I hold it over the bath tub. "You either take a bath, or Croaks, here takes the dive," I say.

Huffing, she eyes me coldly, but none the less, gets in the bath tub.

Smirking triumphantly, I wash her hair with vanilla shampoo and let her play with the rubber duck I stepped on.

After the bath, I dry her and put her in a white shirt with pink overalls and fix her hair in a blue bow. "Now was that so bad?" I ask, handing Croaks back to her. If eyes could speak, she was scolding me with the glare I receive.

She snatches the toy back in her arms and hugs it tightly.

"Look, I didn't even make you wear a dress. Everyone's happy," I say but she frowns none the less.

"Well do you want to spend the day with me? We can get to know each other more…" I ask.

"I want to watch The Shining," she says in her cute high pitched voice. I shake my head, "Daddy shouldn't have let you watch that in the first place."

"BUT I WANT TO!" she yells, her voice rising.

"But I don't," I mimic in her whining tone. "Te quiero, pero no deberias ver esa pelicula."

Her eyes widen and she tilts her head to the side. "What language was that?!"

"Spanish," I shrug simply.

"Teach me, teach me!"

I raise my eyebrows; she wants me to teach her Spanish? Well I guess it's better than watching The Shining.

We spend the rest of the day speaking simple Spanish phrases and learning a few verbs. She learns very quickly.

Evening rolls around and I start to wonder if Stanley will get home soon.

"I want to watch The Shining!"

"Ophelia…"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeee—"

"OKAY! Fine, we can watch that movie."

I'm more terrified of it than she is. I jump when the door starts moving, and Stanley enters the house.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Ophelia screams, running into his arms.

"Hi, how are my girls."

Scared shitless. "We're fine," I say, turning off the movie.

"Daddy, te amo," Ophelia says.

"I love you too. Someone's been learning fast."

She smiles and Stanley tells her to go brush her teeth and get ready for bed.

She rushes off and I look to Stanley.

"How'd it go?"

"Well, it was awkward when I first showed up. But we got into the swing of things and warmed up to each other a bit again."

"That's good."

"How'd things go with Ophie?"

I laugh sarcastically, and give him a hug. Turning, I whisper in his ear, "Never make me give her a bath again."

I pull away and peck his lips before running off to go say goodnight to Ophelia.

She's already in bed and I sit on the edge like last night. Looking to her right, she picks up _The Catcher in the Rye, _handing it to me.

"Read some more," she demands toughly.

Smiling, I nod and squeeze in next to her. She rests her head on my shoulder, looking at the pages while I read:

"Oh, I have a few qualms, all right. Sure. . . but not too many. Not yet, anyway. I guess it hasn't really hit me yet. It takes things a while to hit me. All I'm doing right now is thinking about going home Wednesday. I'm a moron."

"Do you feel absolutely no concern for your future, boy?"

"Oh, I feel some concern for my future, all right. Sure. Sure, I do." I thought about it for a minute. "But not too much, I guess. Not too much, I guess."

"You will," old Spencer said. "You will, boy. You will when it's too late."

I feel Ophelia's soft, even breathing on my arm and I look to see she's asleep. Sighing, I set the book on the night stand. I can't possibly leave her or Stanley. I could never forgive myself. Spending today with her was a real eye opener.

Letting the thoughts of the day cloud my brain, I turn off the light, and drift off to sleep.

* * *

_Hey guys! How are you? Good? Good. I love comments so tell me what you think. M'kay? Kay! Love you!_


	4. Chapter 4

I wake up and notice I fell asleep in Ophelia's bed. She's crashed out on her pillow, a small bit of drool, rolling down the corner of her mouth. I see her "frog" and gently place it in her arms.

Smiling, I quietly make my way out of her bed and to the kitchen in search of Stanley. Instead, I find a note on the refrigerator.

_Rebel,_

_Went to hang out with Matt and Mello again. French toast is on the stove. I'll try to be home early. _

_Love you both,_

_Stanley_

Sure enough, French toast is still warm, on a plate on top of the stove.

Searching the cupboards, I find some syrup and heat it in the microwave.

"Daddy?" a tiny voice asks from the hall.

"Daddy isn't here. He left to go hang out with some of our friends," I say placing breakfast on the table, and picking her up setting her in her seat.

"Do you like syrup on your toast?"

She nods sleepily, rubbing at the corner of her eye.

I pour some of the sticky, sugary substance on top of her food, and she picks up her fork, tearing into it greedily.

Making my own plate, I sit down and we eat in silence.

Stanley is really trying to make things better. And it's really sweet of him. I'm not sure who he's doing it for, but he's doing the right thing. I have to admit, I love that amazing guy.

Ophelia finishes her breakfast, getting half of it on her face.

Then I realize, Stanley is making me give her another bath!

I hate that damn bastard.

Smiling, I try to coax Ophelia into the tub without a fuss.

"Hey honey, so I was thinking after your bath we could finish the movie?"

She nods quickly, her eyes glowing. "I want to watch The Shining!"

"You can watch it after your bath. The faster you get in the tub, the faster you can watch it."

I swear, I'm witnessing a miracle, because right here at the table she strips off her clothes and runs butt naked to the bathroom. Wiping my mouth, I follow after her and see she's already in the tub.

"I have to put water in their first…" I say, biting back a chuckle.

The bath goes fairly smooth. We had a bit of a fuss when it came time to rinsing her hair, but it didn't last long.

Once she was dried and dressed, I put the movie in, letting it start from the beginning.

Heading into the kitchen, I think about what I should make for dinner. Frowning, I feel my hands starting to itch. I head to the sink, scrubbing my hands with soap and water until they burn.

Drying them, I groan as they continue to itch. Did I touch something? I know last night I touched the "frog". Maybe it's due for a wash.

Checking the corner, I see Ophelia contently watching her movie. Sneaking back to her room, I spot Croaks flopped across her bed. Taking it between two fingers, I hold it arms length away, trying to get to the washing machine.

Opening the washer, I jump hearing a small voice from behind me. "What are you doing?"

Spinning around with the "frog" behind my back, I smile. "Hey honey, I was just going to wash Croaks. Is that ok?"

Ophelia's lip juts out and her eyes start to water. "No! You'll kill him!" she screams running up to me and grabbing him from my hands. Irritated, I sigh, scratching at my itchy skin. "Fine," I mutter under my breath.

I head back to the kitchen and search the contents of the fridge, jumping as a high shrill rings through the house.

Looking around I spot a cell phone vibrating on the counter. "Hello?" I ask.

"Rebel, its Stanley. I've got an idea. Ophelia can kill anyone who's not of blood to us? Well, what if Matt and Mello and I swap blood. Then she couldn't kill them!"

I never thought of that. Very interesting idea.

"Cool, are you calling to ask my permission or something?"

"No I called to say I already did it and they're coming over now!"

A knock on the door causes me to frown. I open it to reveal Stanley holding the phone to his ear and Mello and Matt stand gawking behind him.

"I see how it is…" I say smiling.

"Let me see my niece!" Matt urges.

"She's in the back," I say, watching as they both head towards her room. I cross my fingers, praying that this works.

Stanley follows them back and I take in a deep breath and look back down at my hands. They're starting to swell, itchy and irritated. I can't think of anything that could be causing this.

"Rebel!" Mello calls.

I run to the back and see Ophelia and Matt having a stare down on the floor.

"What?! Who died?!"

"Nobody… just wanted to see what you're up to. It's been what….five years?"

"Yeah," I say shortly.

"Well I'm assuming Stanley told you…"

"Yeah," I say again, "he told me. I'm really sorry."

Mello shrugs his shoulders and Matt cheers, "I won! You blinked!"

"No!" Ophelia says whining. I laugh.

Stanley smiles, "Ophie, these are your uncles. Mello and Matt. These are Mommy's brothers."

My smile drops as Ophelia crinkles her little eyebrows together. "Mommy?"

The room goes so silent that you can hear a pin drop.

"Rebel's your Mommy, sweetheart. You know that right?"

Ophelia goes quiet and just stares at me for a real long time.

"Well, I'm just going to go leave you guys alone," I say.

"Wait…" Mello tries, but I shake him off.

"Spend some time with your niece."

"But we don't know how to take care of a little girl!" Matt whines.

"You took care of me," I say. "I turned out ok."

"You turned out dead," Mello says frowning.

But I don't reply. Just head to the living room.

My daughter doesn't know that I'm her mom….

If that's not a stab to the heart, I don't know what is.

_Ok, so if you haven't read my authors notes before, read this one. I've gotten messages and comments addressing certain "issues" with my story. So I'm going to go on a little rant. First of all, I respect your opinions. I wouldn't be a good author to say that I won't take the criticism and that all comments have to be good. I'm not saying that. I'm just going to voice mine real quick. I AM BUSY! I rarely have time to update. But I promise you I have ideas for the story. It's been slow, I understand. But I'm just trying to not rush the plot. Secondly, I want to talk about the characters. This has been an OC story from the beginning (i.e. Rebel isn't an original Death Note character). I figured that was clear in the first story, but maybe it wasn't. I am not trying to get my OC's to have the spotlight. Yes the plot revolves around Rebel and her relationship with the Whammy boys and the Death Note world and all that stuff. I feel it's ok to have your OC's develop because it makes them closer to the characters and gives depth to the overall story. Yes in the past few chapters, the story has mostly revolved around Stanley and Rebel's relationship. But that's not to say the other characters are completely gone. As I said before, I don't want to rush the plot of the story and I don't have time to update everyday to keep everyone satisfied. I don't want to spoil the plot (not all stories can get right to the climax, some need to build). In the end, I want to thank you for the comments, all of them. And if you just hate my story and think its awful then don't read it. And I won't be mad. You can't win everyone over. If you love my story, then thank you. Development in the story is soon to come; I hope I haven't lost you as readers or disappointed you. If I did, I'm sorry. I'll get to updating and get the ball rolling as soon as I can. More updates coming soon. Te amo!_


	5. Chapter 5

It's been about a week now and the itching turned to burning pain, and headaches. I feel the urge to claw off my skin with my finger nails. Moaning I pull the blankets tightly over my head and breathe deeply. Stanley, Mello and Matt have been having guy time all week and I've been left to take care of Ophelia. Not that I minded before.

"Mommy!" She calls from the door, opening it slightly. She's finally accepted the fact that I'm her mom.

"What?!" I growl from under the sheets.

"I'm hungry."

"Go make something then."

"You always make me food…"

"OPHELIA! Can you not see I don't feel well? Just get out!" I screech. Her eyes widen in fear and she hustles out of the room. I bury my face in my hands. I didn't mean to snap. I guess…. At this point I just want this pain to stop.

The pain in my head quickly moves to my throat, like swallowing fire. My mouth goes dry and I clench my jaw shut, letting tears prick my eyes. Glancing down at my arms, I notice my arms covered in red, itchy sores and blisters.

Shaking, I try to crawl out of bed. I feel like I'm exploding from the inside out. Dragging myself to the bathroom, I use the sink as support and look at my ghastly face. I'm pale, with stringy hair and drooping skin. But the worst are my eyes. They're slowly turning from a deep grey to a black, where the whites of my eyes are so red and bloodshot; I'm surprised I'm not crying blood.

My body trembles harder as I struggle to stay upright. Failing miserably, I fall on the cool white bathroom tile, letting my head rest against the cabinet under the sink. "Well, look what we have here. You were so strong before? What happened?"

Glancing up, I feel my stomach lurch. I try to speak but I can't form words with my throat in such pain.

Light.

"I mean I always knew you would break, but with your own daughter here? Or should I say my daughter? Or did we forget the blood bond? Our blood is mixed together, Rebel. She's just as much my daughter as she is yours."

What the hell is he doing here? How did he find us? I roll my head back as the pain intensifies.

"I've waited so long for this! It's all working out just as I planned," he sneers, crouching down to look in my eyes. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a syringe with a bright green liquid. It's only filled a little bit of the way, but as soon as I see it, my body lurches for it.

"Not so fast," Light smirks, pulling back. The pain is unbearable, I can't function without it. My body craves it. I need it!

"You have to do a little thing for me. I'll give you this," he says holding up the syringe, "If you give me Ophelia."

My breathing gets harder; I need it and its right in front of me.

"Such an easy trade and we can both feel better," Light says.

Gritting my teeth I shake my head. What kind of mother would I be if I just give in? But what if Light takes her anyways? Maybe if I trade her, I'll have a better chance of getting her back? Maybe…

"Shame," he says before standing up. I make a loud noise causing him to laugh. "Oh, so we have a deal."

Shakily, I nod my head. He rolls his eyes and tosses the syringe on the floor. It rolls next to me and I greedily pick it up as he goes in search of Ophelia.

I quickly jab the long needle into my arm, and relax as the pain subsides a bit and the icy hot liquid floods my veins.

Light returns to the bathroom, carrying a silent Ophelia.

"I hope you don't think that promise I made would work. Promises can be broken. Didn't you promise to always protect your daughter? Well guess you really screwed up this time didn't you?" he says.

Before I know it they're both gone, and I'm lying alone on the floor.

He's right, though. I did screw up. I'm not sure I can bounce back from this.

I just traded my daughter for drugs.

This is a new low.

And I don't feel bad about it.

* * *

_Crazy stuff! Comment, review, all that awesome junk. Love you all!_


	6. Chapter 6

I'm not sure how long I'm sitting on the floor, staring off into space with my mind completely blank. However I'm suddenly being zoned back into reality when a dark shape steps into my view of the wall. "Rebel? What are you doing on the floor?" Stanley asks; a look of concern on his face.

I find myself giggling at his blurry features.

"What's so funny?" He asks, with a frown.

"Hahahahahaha," I can't seem to contain the bubbly relief welling up inside of me.

"Where's Ophelia?" Stanley presses, leaving the bathroom.

He rushes back in panicking. "Rebel! Where's Ophelia?"

"How should I know?" I ask, catching my breath. "She's long gone."

The look of pain I see cross Stanley's face dulls my light and airy feeling.

He quickly kneels down in front of me, clutching my shoulders in a tight grip. "What happened?"

I watch as he takes in the long gashes from clawing at my arms, my eyes still burn… I probably still look like crap to him.

"Where's our daughter, Rebel?" Stanley grits out. I feel his nails sink deep into my shoulders, causing me to flinch.

"She isn't only our daughter," I say hoarsely.

Stanley's face pales and he leans back, burying his face in his hands. "Rebel!"

"She isn't!" I say, "Not by blood. She is also Light's child. And I guess, technically she's Andie's kid too."

Stanley stares into my eyes with a look of anger, panic and shock.

"Did Light steal Ophelia?" he asks quietly.

Hanging my head lower, I twiddle with my thumbs. "He didn't exactly _steal_ her. I might have traded her."

Stanley's breathing quickens and he stares at me for a long time. "Did I hear you correctly?" he asks in a chillingly calm voice.

"Yes…"

"For what?"

"What?"

"What did you trade my daughter for, Rebel?" he says raising his voice.

"D- Well I don't k-know, what it is…"

Stanley raises an eyebrow and looks around, spotting the empty syringe, with traces of the green liquid dripping off the tip.

"DRUGS? You sold, my daughter, for _drugs_?!"

I've never in my life seen Stanley so angry. And angry at me, for that matter.

Tears start to form in my eyes. I'm half expecting his expression to soften, and for him to apologize and tell me it will be ok.

But he doesn't do that.

"Get up!" He screeches, yanking me up off the floor. I stumble backwards into the sink before regaining my balance.

"You don't seem the slightest bit upset about this!"

I look to the ground, avoiding his eyes.

"What, you aren't going to answer me now? You fucking sell out our daughter to get your next fix? What did you hate her or something?" he seethes.

"She didn't like me anyways!" I shout. Immediately I cover my mouth with my hands, wishing the words would come back to me.

"Are you trying to blame this on her? You were gone for five years! Her entire life you weren't there! God, you know since we're being honest, can I just say that I've been sick of you and your attitude. You think everyone will bend over backwards to make you happy and we don't have to do shit for you! This isn't some game. You can't expect everything to be happy go lucky like nothing ever happened."

"I took five fucking years of torture for you! I died because I cared about L and Matt and Mello and Beyond and Eddie and Sebastian and even Rollins at the time. I deserve some sort of feedback!"

"You want a medal? A trophy for _sacrificing yourself? _How about the reward of a daughter. But wait! You traded her for _drugs_!"

It's a screaming match. Stanley's face is full scale red with veins popping out of his forehead.

"I just wanted everyone to be happy!" I shriek.

"Things were getting back to normal without you!" he replies.

"Are you saying you don't need me? I can leave…."

"Good God, there you go again with the guilt trip. I'm not going to try to please you anymore, Rebel. This is it! I'm getting my daughter back without you. And when I do, I don't expect to see you in the picture."

I scratch at my arms, causing more sores to open. "My daughter needs me!"

"That's not what you said a while ago! Pull your act together. Go find your next fix, I don't freaking care anymore. Just get out and don't come back."

Breathing through my nose, I quickly turn and run out the door, making sure to slam it as hard as I can behind me.

* * *

_Yes everyone I am still alive. I've been super busy with class and junk and everything but found time to write a chapter so you guys don't forget about me! Comment and all that good stuff. Love you!_


	7. Chapter 7

I didn't expect Stanley to have called Matt and Mello, but I figure that's what happened. They're standing in the front yard with their arms crossed angrily over their chests. I can practically see the steam rolling off Mello's shoulders.

Leisurely I close the gaping distance between us.

I stand in front of Mello, not saying anything, and feeling like a child being punished.

Does he want me to explain? Can I explain?

"Stanley kicked me out," I say, starring at a rock off to the side.

Mello's hot breath makes its way into my face. "I would too if I were him."

That hurts.

"You're supposed to be my brothers. You're supposed to kick his ass for being mean to me…" I say quietly.

Matt scoffs in the background and Mello shakes his head. "You want me to kick his ass for caring about someone so much?"

"Who are you talking about?'

"Your daughter!" Matt calls, stepping up next to Mells. Matt digs around in his pocket before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. The smoke fills my nostrils and I cough, waving the toxic fumes away.

"He's right," Mello agrees. "Rebel, you should have seen him. How much he cares for Ophelia. Of course he cared for you. But Ophelia was the one perfect thing of his. She's his one perfect thing that nobody can screw up."

"I screwed it up," I mutter.

Matt breathes heavily taking a drag, "No, not even you."

"She doesn't need you to function. She's her own person. She can live without you. And you can't screw her up," Mello says.

I sigh, "She didn't love me! I mean honestly, she tolerated me, but I was replaceable!" I shout, feeling tears start to well in my eyes.

I gasp as I feel a stinging smack on my cheek. Looking up through blurry eyes, Matt is shrinking back his hand, glaring at me. "What the hell is wrong with you? She didn't love you? Bullshit. Don't even mention being replacable. That's the way it should be. You're daughter should be irreplaceable so you'd sacrifice anything for her. That's including an urge for a supernatural drug."

"You hit me! Mello he hit me!"

Mello shakes his head, "You deserved it. Did you not hear anything of what he just said? You're acting like a complete bitch, Rebel. Look, you're our sister and we'll love you to death, no matter what you do. But I'm calling bullshit on this; it's time to end the battle with Light and with you."

"What do you expect me to do?"I grit out.

"We expect you to figure it out on your own. What happened to make you like this?" Matt says, stomping his cigarette on the ground. "You were eating mac and cheese at the dinner table not too long ago, now you've grown up into a hot mess. What did we do wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Did we fail you?"

"No!"

"Then what's the problem!"

"I'M THE PROBLEM!" I scream. "I'm the fucking problem, that's fucked everyone's lives over. I should have never been found in that ally, and never met you guys and never worked on the Kira case. I shouldn't have ruined everything, I'm sorry. Ok I'm sorry."

I breathe heavily in and out for a while. Matt and Mello watch me skeptically, like I'm a live wire. I guess I am.

"What did I tell you before about being sorry, Shrimp?"

Turning around, I come face to face with Uncle B.

"Beyond! Where have you been?"

"I've been standing here long enough," he sighs, running his fingers through his thick messy hair. "What have I told you about being sorry?"

Racking my brain, I find it hard to think about what Beyond and I have actually discussed. When I come up short, he scowls.

"Being sorry isn't enough. I don't want you to be sorry, Shrimp, I want you to fix the problem."

"I'll just mess everything up even more," I cry.

"Crying isn't going to get you anywhere, suck it up and listen to me."

Straightening my posture, I look into his deep red eyes. "I'll figure something out," I mutter.

"Good," he says motioning for Matt and Mello to follow him into the house. "After all Rebel, are you a flower or a weed?"

* * *

_What do you think? Give me your thoughts. Comment and all that good stuff._


	8. Chapter 8

The drug is wearing off. I feel a tingle in my fingertips as I fight back the urge to scratch at my skin. The goal is to retrieve Ophelia from Light. For that, I need to gather some research. Blinking, the scent of must and the sound of cackling laughter fill my senses.

So this is what the underworld is like.

It's definitely darker. Almost like limbo; except the creatures here resemble humans more than anything. I fix my eyes on the road ahead, scanning the crowds on either side of me. Fights are breaking out in every direction, and I struggle to keep a safe distance.

The plan I have is nonexistent. But I figure that something will pop out at me.

As I wade through the crowds, the tingling in my fingers travels through my body. I can feel my lungs tightening with every breath I take.

"You alright lady?" Someone calls. He's a tall, rugged looking man with dark skin. One eye is a soft golden brown while the other is a hypnotic blue.

"You got the twitches or what?" He asks, smirking.

I shrug and attempt to push past him, although my shaking limbs make it difficult.

"I asked you a question!" He says harshly. "You got the twitches?"

"I don't know what that is…."

"Step off her case, Scorn!" Another voice says. Behind him, a muscular bulky man with a stubbly beard pushes his way to us. "He's asking if you're going through withdrawal," he clarifies.

"Oh… well sort of."

The muscle man scoffs, "I've got you covered, follow me."

He leads me to an abandoned street. The buzzing flicker of street lamps make my spine tingle, and send chills up my spine that I cannot accompany to withdrawal symptoms.

"She travels a lot," he says as we advance towards a brick wall. Gently placing his hand on random bricks, he then whispers something under his breath. The wall crumbles to the ground in an array of ash and stone.

"Step lively!" he calls. I try to keep up without injuring my feet. However on my first step, my foot sinks into the rubble, making me wince.

"Now as I was saying," he continues, "she travels a lot, but if anyone can get you what you need, she can."

I nod and follow. Up ahead, I see a rundown barn. As we reach it, I help him heave the heavy, wooden door so it swings open. Inside, a flickering light bulb is held by a weak string, dimly illuminating the room. I feel as though I've been sucked into a horror movie, and Jason will pop out and try to kill me.

It doesn't help when muscle man begins to scream, "Rage!" His voice echo off the walls and I'm beginning to get more and more nervous. I'm not sure this 'rage' person is someone I want to be associated with. "Show your undead ass!"

A loud banging alerts us to Rage's presence. Being the chicken I am; I stand behind the man's muscular frame. "I brought a street rat looking for some cheddar," he says.

Peeking out from behind him, I steel a glance at Rage. She's petite, wearing a black hoodie. The shadows make it hard for me to make out her features, but I notice some fiery red locks of hair escaping from underneath.

"I'll leave you two to it then." In the blink of an eye, the guy disappears, into thin air, leaving me and Rage alone.

"Rebel?" She lifts back her hood and steps into the light.

"Kaige? What the hell?"

"Why are you here?" She asks in disbelief.

"Why are you here?" I question back.

"I asked you first," she says crossing her arms.

I frown, "I asked you second, and two's a bigger number."

"Well one gets bigger trophies!"

I sigh, not ready to spill the beans. She notices me scratching at my arms, "Oh no, Rebel, you aren't addicted to Layers are you?"

"Layers?"

"Did you get injected with green crap?" she asks bluntly.

I nod, causing her to sigh deeply. "Come here."

I step closer to her and she reaches for something in her pocket. Grabbing my arm, she takes a knife and slices it open, blood seeping out.

"Ouch! What are you—"

"Shhh I'm concentrating. Hold your horses."

She takes out a syringe filled with blue liquid, stabbing me in the arm with it.

My tingles subside and a cooling sensation fills my body.

Pulling away, she moves some stray hair from her eyes. "Layers, are a drug given to you intermittently. The more you have the more addicted you become. The thing is, it's impossible to cure. You will crave it forever and have withdrawal forever," she says.

"Is there a bright side to this story?"I ask.

"Well I just injected you with the antidote. That should keep you steady for a while."

"Antidotes cure diseases."

"Well that's as good a cure as you're going to get. Most who go without it go insane and kill themselves."

"Well you're just a ball of sunshine aren't you?"

Kaige smiles, "When was I not a ball of sunshine?"

I scoff, "I always knew you were the devil in disguise. So why are you here? I mean I heard about you getting demoted to demon, but I didn't understand why you didn't stay."

Her smile drops and her complexion pales. "I don't want to talk about it. Why are you here?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

We both stare at each other for a while. "Well…." I say, "Do you want to talk about what happened to your hair? I mean it's nice and all, but I liked your black hair…. _Rage_."

She shrugs, "Rage rhymed with Kaige, and you aren't the only one capable of changing their appearance. By the way, you need to change yours…."

"What's wrong with the way I look?" I ask.

"You look like you came out of the human world. We're in the underworld now….you need to look ratchet."

Closing my eyes, I picture myself in a black leather outfit, with black choppy hair, and tanner skin.

"That's more like it!" Kaige encourages. "Now you need a new name."

"River," I say.

Kaige gives me a confound expression, "Um, ok, River it is."

"There seems to be many R names going around…."

Kaige and I jump and turn around, "Beyond!"

"Yes, Rage, I believe I should tell you the next ship is in… literally."

"You two work together?" I ask in surprise.

"Yes! Now we're late, we need to go, let's move this goose!" Kaige rushes.

Beyond walks behind us and I try to keep up.

"Why are you walking like that?" Kaige asks, barely turning around.

"Walking like what?"

"Like you have something stuck up your ass."

I huff, "these pants are not easy to walk in!"

"Well hurry up!"  
We turn right from the barn and head out into a small forest.

Up ahead, I can see some figure. They look almost as if they're glowing.

As we get closer, I can see that it's black where their eyes should be. Their outfits are tattered and covered in droopy seaweed.

"Shipwreck victims, check," I hear Kaige mutter under her breath.

"Care to explain?" I ask.

"Kaige monitors Halloween," Beyond replies.

"It's a holiday, you can't monitor it…"

"Then how is she doing it?" he asks quizzically.

I roll my eyes, "Aren't all those stories fake?"

"No," they reply in unison.

I watch as Kagie inspects all of the figures, before taking out a pen and writing on her arm.

"Shrimp," Beyond whispers, "have you told her the reason for your being here?"

I shake my head, "not until necessary. You won't say anything right?"

Beyond shrugs, "I don't know, trust is such a rare form to come by."

"Beyond!"

"I make no promises, Shrimp." He says before fading off.

That worries me.

I hope that Beyond can keep a secret.

* * *

_Hola! I hope you enjoyed! Comment, follow, favorite, all that good stuff. Tell me what you think! Love you._


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